Laughter and books make life a little easier

Posts tagged “irony

Things that you can do that are more interesting than fixing my internet

Hi! I’m back (again) and I really hope that my three weeks of internet and computer frustration are now finally over. But more on that below. As we had all of this trouble getting our internet connection fixed, I needed some way to vent my frustration at this process. So what better way than a cartoon? I hope you enjoy (and that my actual point isn’t too vague).

Cover (more…)


Fun with job interview advice

In which I go slightly overboard while reading advice for new graduates.

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That compromising search history

Oh my, this post is so late. I got a bit distracted by Pinterest. Which means that I spent the two hours that I should have been drawing this evening on there. Oops.

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A NaNoWriMo scenario [cartoon]

Hi! If I’m writing this, it means I survived my first exam today! And guess what that means? I should be studying for my next one on Friday, but I have a minute now and this means cartoons! And what else would it be about than what is constantly on my mind at the moment: National Novel Writing Month? So, here’s my version of Nanotoons!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, this really happens. 😛

Here’s a tip: don’t ever name a character Vivienne if you’re going to be typing her name in a hurry. It’s the hardest name ever to type. It’s like, left hand, right hand, left hand, right hand, left hand, double right hand, left hand. Bam. But now I’ve made that mistake and I’ve got to live with it. 😉

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go write. I have 20,371 words so far and I need to hit 21,667 in one hour from now. I really don’t want to go. I’m aching all over and the last thing I want to do right now is exert myself further. It isn’t just that my arm aches from writing the exam (Though it would have been cool if the roughly 3,000 words [I’m deadly serious] I wrote in the exam today counted for NaNo. It’d give me such a boost! :P), I also thought it would be a great idea to do a workout this morning because I hadn’t slept nearly enough last night and I thought it would wake my brain up. I haven’t done a proper workout since high school, under the death stare of the PE teacher… Well, it did wake my brain up. Unfortunately it also woke my muscles up. I didn’t even know you had muscles along the sides of your ribcage. Well, that’s where it mainly aches right now. You guys can tell I dropped biology as fast as I possibly could in high school and did history instead, can’t you? I’m clueless about anatomy. 😉

I’ve put in almost 14 hours of writing so far. For the first time, I’m keeping a log book of my NaNo and it’s very interesting. I’ve also been able to monitor that my morale hasn’t been very good so far this month:

I was so sick on the 6th, with a headache that I could hardly see, let alone type. I managed 779 words though. 🙂 I need to fill in today’s. It’s probably about a five.

 

Okay. Ouch. Now I’m really going. Because…

 

 

I’ve leave you with the wise words of the wonderful Nanny Ogg:

“You ain’t going to lose, are you?”

— Terry Pratchett

 


A Day in My Energy Levels

Hi everyone! I hope everyone had/is having/will have a great Monday!

 

And here’s a new cartoon! Instead of “A day in the life of…”, it is:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is my real Thursday timetable. On Tuesdays my classes are a bit later and closer together, Wednesdays are unpredictable and usually consist of a lot of running around and on Fridays my classes are later, which is good because I actually have time to wake up, but it is also bad, because they are neverendingly long on a Friday afternoon. 😉 Oh, and on Mondays I don’t have class. Now you know why I post on Mondays. The secret? It isn’t actually to brighten up your week. (Well, maybe just a bit of that. :P) It’s because I’m at home. 🙂

 

In other news, I think I have finally found a font to use in my drawings! It’s the one I used in this cartoon. I’ve been using all kinds of fonts lately to try and find one that I can be consistent with. It needed to be a font that went well with everything, that I can use in all caps if I want and above all, one  that has a decent * symbol. Yes, I’m so happy to have found the one at last! An added bonus is that this font looks a lot like my natural handwriting. Except that it is x100 times neater than my handwriting. Anything is neater than that! 😉

 

I hope you all have a great week! 😀


Sometimes I wish…

Hi! 🙂

 

Sorry for the late post! I have books to read, tests to study for, life to deal with… you know how it is! 😉 I’ve also been working very diligently on an actual series of Lord of the Rings graphics that I will tell you all about some day soon (which means I’ve been neglecting everything else, because that is just way too much fun).

But enough about that and on to today’s cartoon!

 

You know those little selfish wishes and dreams that you always have? Wishing you could just get that annoying person to stop talking, or make an end to everyone who whistles in the corridors? Yes, those. This cartoon is about those wishes that probably never should come true.

 

It never misses. After telling you off, the librarian will go into her office to make a really loud phone call. 😛 *sigh*

 

I hope you enjoyed it! This has now officially been my third library cartoon and I am starting to see a pattern here… but you know, the library is my hangout place, so why shouldn’t I write about the place I know best? I’m a proud nerd! 😆

 

I’ll be off now and I’m sure you’ll excuse me if I don’t talk so much today. I’ve got a lot of work and sleep to catch up on. 😉

 

We’ll talk again next week!


John Donne

No, this is not a literary essay! 😛

Hello, how are you? I’ve got a new cartoon! Doesn’t that make a blue Monday a little brighter!

Today’s cartoon is about the great English metaphysical poet, John Donne. If you’re not familiar with him, go read up on him. Trust me, it’s worth it, just to marvel at the decisions this man made and the amount he lived. Though I find him hugely entertaining, learning his stuff was getting on my nerves last exam… and I was feeling a bit irreverent. So I drew this cartoon about the life of John Donne. I have now scanned it in to share it with all of you.

So… welcome to my first hand-drawn cartoon on this blog!
What do you think? Does it make a nice change? Or should I please not quit my day job? (I think the latter. I can’t draw to save my life! :P) I erased my handwriting and retyped the text though, because I didn’t feel like annotating my handwriting. It’s usually especially bad when I’m annoyed at something!

Disclaimer: this cartoon does not mean any offence to any kind of religion, literary critic or poet. Or any others, for that matter. The point of satire is to laugh at everyone equally and at the same time and that is what I attempted here.

Ready? Let’s go.

THE END
(of the cartoon)

Now for some links, because I feel like sharing:

Someone emailed me this while I was on holiday (I suppose they must have read my book posts or something). I’m not being paid for this or anything, I just checked out this random email and thought that it was actually a pretty cool link. So, if you are in interested in creative writing and getting published and reading about other people writing, you might want to check this out: http://www.bestcollegesonline.com/blog/2012/07/02/the-top-100-creative-writing-blogs-updated/

Then… Beth? This one’s for you:
What’s your English gentry name?
I recently found this on Sparknotes and had some fun with it. I’m Grand Princess Victoria Harlow of Ashford, by the way. 🙂 I remember there was one for The Hunger Games as well which I also played with. My name was something ridiculously silly, but I’ve forgotten what now. 😛

I suppose I really should leave now to get some work done. Sigh. I haven’t done anything all weekend because I kept getting distracted by the Olympic Games. I tend to sit down to watch one race that I wanted to see and then I end up there for hours. It is the only time in four years that I am interested in watching sports! I always like to watch the gymnastics (because I can fall over my own feet while standing still and it is just so fascinating to watch people who aren’t like that ;)) and the sync swimming. This year I ended up watching quite a lot of the swimming – I’m not quite sure why – and the women’s diving.

Also, who watched the opening ceremony? I loved it! So many literature references! Okay, I did make some of them up myself, but I still saw them there! I saw hobbits all the way in the beginning with the countryside houses and all those things and I was squealing with delight and they weren’t even hobbits. I don’t need an excuse to see hobbits, apparently. 😛 When I saw this on 9gag, I was glad I wasn’t the only one seeing these kind of things!

I fell asleep after the Congo’s team walked by, though. I’ve been so dosed out on allergy medicine lately (think I’ve developed an allergy to breathing) that I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open. So I didn’t see the lighting of the Olympic flame, which I was sorry about, but that’s luckily what reruns are for!

Now, with all the being sickly and watching TV, it is now quite urgent that I go and write a summary of the history of the Netherlands and Belgium. So, I’ll go and do that and leave y’all to read cartoons or whatever else you want to read without me talking at you. 😉


The Umbrella Chronicles and Valentine’s Origami

Okay, that title came out a bit awkward. But it does still say exactly what this post is about, albeit with a strange combination. So, new cartoon and new origami tutorials today!

First things first:

I wrote up two tutorials on Valentine’s Origami. Just click on the pictures to be taken to the tutorials! =]

 

And then…

The Umbrella Chronicles

 

It happened this week. Well, actually it happens so often that they can start using me as a form of weather prediction. It will rain on the day that Elana leaves her umbrella at home! Yes, I got caught outside without my umbrella, and obviously I was very far from a building. By the time that I had run into one, I was more or less soaked. But the thing is, you see, I almost always have my umbrella on me when I go out for the day. Winter and summer. When it doesn’t rain, I use it to walk under if I go in the sun, because I’m trying to avoid getting tanned. But then sometimes… it looks like rain the entire week, but it does not rain… until this happens:

 

 

 

Yeah…

 

I hope everyone has a great week and that you won’t be caught without your weather-protective gear! 🙂


A Simple Origami Box

Hey all!

 

I just quickly wanted to share with you that I wrote up a new origami tutorial earlier today. You can go view it over at my origami blog: How to Fold a Simple Origami Box. Just click on the picture to be taken straight to it!

Go learn how to fold one and then use it as a gift box for your special someone on Valentine’s Day! Go on! You know you want to… 😉

 

Also in that post, I show off my own smallest origami crane, after being challenged by a commenter in relation to my previous tutorial. It’s small enough to sit on my fingertip!

 

Oh, by the way, before I sign off, I received one of the funniest spam comments that I’ve seen to date recently. Some of these things are funny simply because of the odd language they sometimes use, but this one was funny because of the irony. Placed only to promote its link:

I was curious if you ever considered changing the structure of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

The post that this was left on? The Idiocy of the English Language, which you have all probably read by now, you know, Freshly Pressed and all that. I found it hilarious because of the unintentional irony – that post basically consists of pictures! I’m counting 8 pictures and about 3 paragraphs’ worth of text. 😆

Someone should really teach these bots to place their spam in places where it will be less ironic… Now, if this comment had appeared on my last post about writing and music, I might even have taken it seriously…

 

Still laughing,


The Idiocy of the English Language

If you are at all acquainted with the English language, you may have noticed some common sayings and words in there that are really silly, once you come to think of it. For example, why is it called a boxing ring when it is actually a square? Why is the load of the ship referred to as cargo, but when a truck carries a load on land, that is referred to as shipping? Actors recite a play for an audience, but then they play at a recital. See? It doesn’t make sense! But that is English, unfortunately. That is also one of the reasons why English is such a hard language to speak fluently – incorporating all its nuances. Ask me – I’ve been there. There are so many things you simply have to know.

If you want to read more about the silliness of English, there is this poem. It is unfortunately not the original one that inspired this post – that one was printed in my English handbook and I can’t find it – but most of the cartoons of this post are also illustrations from it.

 

Now, without further ado (cliché!), let’s have a giggle!

Cover

*

 

Desert

You would not believe how many “desert peaches” I’ve seen at the grocer. I always wonder if they are all sandy and dry. And I’ve also had several people ask me if I would live in a dessert. “No, I don’t think so. It would probably be very sticky. And sickly.” Then they look at me as if I’ve gone mad.

 

Hot

Cold

What the hell just happened there? Please excuse the language: I just felt that was the only suitable comment to use. Winking smile

 

Humanitarian

Yes. And if fire fighters fight fires, what then do freedom fighters fight?

 

Why do we drive on parkways…

Parkways

Driveways

… and park on driveways?

 

Pineapple

Oh. Well, I just asked the dictionary, and apparently the word “pineapple” is derived from the Middle English word for “pinecone”. The fruit seems to have reminded whoever named it of a pinecone. If you say so. I can’t say I really see the resemblance. Except maybe in the shape.

 

So sometimes the connections do make sense. A lot of the time they do not, however. But no-one can deny that English is a creative language!

 

I hope you all have a great week!

Sig2


The art of scribbling

Status update: Dreading going to the dentist tomorrow. Correction: make that later today.
Eating: Dude! Seriously, it’s like one in the morning!
Drinking: –
Listening: Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers soundtrack ~ Howard Shore
Reading: Just finished with Snuff, by Terry Pratchett and now debating what to read next. I have such a huge pile that I’ve been putting off reading all year that the choice is a bit hard. But I think the Earthsea Quartet will win the battle.

 

So, what’s new since I was last here? Well, I got sunburned. Whilst fully clothed. Extremely fully clothed, I might add. Darned sun, hiding behind the clouds and pretending not to be there whilst actually still battering us with its rays. I haven’t got burned in years, and it hurts. My skin normally doesn’t take any nonsense from the sun, so I don’t know what was going on yesterday…

 

 

Anyway, this blog post was not to complain about the state of the sun. Or the state of my skin as caused by that idiotic sun up there. Actually it was about…

 

The Art of Scribbling!

 

Scribbles1Scribbles2Scribbles3Scribbles4Scribbles5Scribbles6

Yes, I know there is a typo, but it was just too much trouble to fix. Pretend you didn’t see it. Yes, this is coming from the self-declared Grammar Nazi.

 

I hope everyone’s having a great week (hopefully free from the pest of Murphy’s Law), and yes, this is just taunting everyone who actually has to work right now, unlike me! Smile with tongue out

 


The annoyances of bus riding

Status update: Where did the week go to? It’s university recess and I didn’t even notice it because I was working procrastinating so hard!
Eating: –
Drinking: Chocolate milk.
Listening: “The Road” soundtrack ~ Mute Records. (It suits my mood.)
Reading: “The Pilgrim’s Progress“– John Bunyan. (Not that I’m making any progress at all. Smile with tongue out)

 

Hey guys!

So, before we get to today’s actual post, there are a few things I want to say first.

1.) Firstly, this week came with some milestones for this blog. The blog is now so close to 3000 hits that by the time most of you will read this, it will already have passed that. Now, I know it is petty and ridiculous to obsess over this, especially since I know there are blogs that get that in a day, but I promise I will stop after I have said this. I’m feeling very accomplished right now, because this is the most successful anything that I have started up on the internet has ever become. Well, except for the articles I write on wikiHow, the most popular of which has just over 89,000 views, but I must also point out in fairness that is almost 3 years old, whereas this blog is now only, what, four months? My previous blog only got a 1000 views after a year, and a lot of that came from clicks over here. I also used to run a website, and erm… that was even a bigger flop… So, maybe it’s third time lucky, hey? Thanks to everyone who is making it possible! Red heart

The blog also passed 100 comments this week. Okay, so half of them were my replies to people, but do you care? Winking smile

Okay… boring, show-off-y stats obsession over!

 

2.) Quite a few subscribers joined the bandwagon this week, so to everybody who’s new: welcome! Party smile 

 

3.) Thirdly, I would just like to ask you all to please bear with me. Over here it is a month before final exams… so this means it is crunch-time. Of course every lecturer thinks that he/she is alone in the world and therefore gives written assignments as if something such as “I already have three others to write” does not exist. And I have a lot of lecturers… = thus lots of work! See? I’m even beginning to type in class notes style! Smile with tongue out

So, what I actually want to say is that I don’t know if there is going to be a blog next week. Maybe only a little something small. We’ll see. I shouldn’t even be blogging right now, but I’m going crazy reading up on the theory of existentialism and it is so heavy and depressing! Okay, so that’s it: I just want you to know, just in case I disappear for three weeks, that I haven’t given up blogging! Smile

 

4.) Look! ↑ A numbered list! *ahem* Sorry… Embarrassed smile

 

♥♦♣♠

 

Right! Today’s cartoon is about… the annoyances of riding on the bus.

I have to ride the bus home from university several days a week when there is no-one to pick me up, or I finish early or something. And I just wish I could drive myself, because… let’s just say the bus is not very trustworthy at the showing-up-and-not-breaking-down area. But I don’t have a car, or permission to drive either, so I am stuck with it for now. At least it is giving me lots of interesting stories to blog about. Sheesh, I have lots of bus-stories by now! Smile with tongue out

Now, basically everyone here will have no clue at all what my bus looks like. So here’s a picture of it:

Bus2

No, it does not actually look like a loaf, that’s just my bad drawing skills. The colour is also only a maybe. I’ve learned by now that the bus can be basically any colour, except maybe pink or orange, but at least it is that colour quite often.

Right! Moving on… the look of the bus is not important – what is important to note is what it says on the front. Or, what is doesn’t say on the front, because, very often, the bus looks like this:

Bus3

I suspect they do it to spite me, because the bus always gets me excited and then I jump up and think it is coming, and then when it is close enough to read the name, it is usually the wrong one. That’s when I get so annoyed that I will just board the wrong bus and walk an extra three k at the end, out of pure frustration.

 

The second annoying thing about waiting for the bus is sitting there at the bus stop…

Bus4.1

… and realising that you need to go to the bathroom. You take out your watch…

Bus4.2

… and start wondering if you have time to run there and back before the bus is due. This represents many conversations I’ve had with myself on that thrice-darned stop:

“I’ve got 10 minutes, do you think I can go that fast?”

“Of course, who takes that long?”

“No… there’ll be a queue and then I be late.”

“Don’t be silly, why now?”

“Why not? Besides, if I leave now, the bus will be early today.”

“You know it never is. You know it’s always late.”

“But today might be an exception…”

And so forth.

 

Usually I spend the entire time until the bus finally comes just debating with myself and then I still haven’t gone. Whoops…

 

Another annoying thing is the waiting itself:

Bus5

I think this says everything there is to say about it. I look at my watch every two minutes; I stand up every minute to look down the road… and then that last watch depicted is still only a maybe. The worst feeling is when that last watch also passes and still no bus…

 

No, I tell a lie. The worst feeling is when…

Bus6

Someone you know from class comes blaring by the stop in their arrogant little car, making certain that you notice them… And then they’re gone. And you are still stuck waiting for the bus. This feeling is of course amplified if the person driving is younger than you. It is moments such as this that leaves me green with jealousy, and wondering if anyone will mind if I just quickly excuse myself to go stab the bastard and return to the stop before the bus comes.

 

There are of course still many other annoying things about riding the bus, such as it being late every single day, but the day that you were talking to someone outside class and end up tardy, it will be on time. Or even early. Then you have to run your legs off and arrive at the stop just when it drives off again…

Poor legless, carless, you…

 

So, what about you? Do you have any qualms about riding the bus? Any horror stories? Or any little gremlins that annoy you so, so much? I could go on like this all day, but I have to end this post here and now.

 

Until next time then!

Sig2


Three little annoyances and Murphy’s Law

Status update: I totally forgot it was Friday this week. I don’t know how I managed to do that. Usually I am so aware of how many minutes still left until the week-end!
Eating: Coffee-cupcake. Yum!
Drinking: Tea.
Listening: “Farewell to Dobby” – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 soundtrack ~ Alexandre Desplat Crying face
Reading: “Going Postal” – Terry Pratchett. If this is not my favourite Pratchett-book, then it is a very strong contender for that title!

 

This post was inspired by my love for Murphy’s Law. Ask anybody who knows me – I just love the quiet truth of sayings such as… “When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.” According to my experience, this one is especially true when you are home alone and cannot yell at anyone else to get the phone.

Now, with my new experience of forgetting Friday, I am adding one to the Murphy’s Law list:

The law of writing: The amount of time you have to write is indirectly proportional to the amount of inspiration you have.

When I have lots of time to write a post, then I will have absolutely no clue what to write it about. But when I have an amazing idea, then I have no time to finish it in. The same goes for my creative writing. When the inspiration is pouring off me, I have a heap of homework to complete and a class to attend in half an hour, but when I am sitting outside bored for hours, I have no interest or ideas to write.

 

Now, some hasty cartoons about little annoying things in life!

 

Spaghetti1

Because this is only true in the movies:

Spaghetti2

In real life the spaghetti does not end up twisted neatly around the fork like that. No, it is more likely to end up splattered all across your plate and the table. Do not EVER order spaghetti in a restaurant! That is a sight meant only for your home, not for the general public!

 

Saying1

Because when you come out with your most witty saying, the response you are most likely to get is this one:

Saying2

Spare yourself that!

 

Waiting1

Because it will be late. Because you were early. But the one day you were slightly tardy… oh boy! Then you will find out how speedily that bus can actually arrive. Or possibly also how fast you can run up that street…

Waiting2

The speed of the bus is also indirectly proportional to the amount of time you have spent at the stop. If you have been waiting an hour, then the bus will be late on top of that. And when it finally comes, it will approach the stop at a snail’s pace. But if you were late, and still looking for your money, ticket and/or bag, or possibly still running up the street, then it will approach the stop at something close to light speed.

 

Now, to end off, my favourite sayings from Murphy’s Law. Go here for more. Actually, I’m just going to paste them all in, because they are too awesome. And now you know what my source for them was!

  1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to go to the rest room.
  2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
  5. Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.
  6. Guy’s Variation Rider – If you change queues or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. This also works in supermarkets and shops.
  7. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  8. Decree of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. This is also the case if you are female and you have gone out with no makeup and wearing your worst clothes and with greasy hair.
  9. Murphy’s Office Law – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. Will also finds this when he shows someone that something on the computer is easy and it doesn’t work.
  10. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
  11. Law of the Theatre – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
  12. The Starbucks Edict – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
  13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers -If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
  14. Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced marmalade sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.
  15. The Conundrum of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
  16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
  17. Oliver’s Rule of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet. Will’s favourite!
  18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
  19. Doctors’ Law- If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
  20. Will and Guy’s Law – If you don’t save things on your computer you will, sooner rather than later, delete them.

 

Thanks for reading!

Sig2

 

PS. How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?  –Christy Whitehead