Laughter and books make life a little easier

Posts tagged “embarrassment

My athletic abilities… or, that embarrassing day…

First of all, I’d like to sincerely thank all of those of you who liked or commented on my previous post. Maybe I always appear chirpy and positive, but I am actually extremely insecure about my own writing. Many days I believe that I cannot write one word of sense. Many days I believe that I will never become a writer. So, thank you for the positive feedback. You’re helping to keep my dream alive. This means incredibly much to me, so here’s a picture of a cat to say thank you. A cat wearing a top hat. And it is indeed sitting on a mat.

Cat with a hat on a mat

It took me hours, because I’m so useless at Photoshop. Let me work in GIMP and I’ll have it done in a jiffy, but, oh my, Photoshop is hard to learn.

 

Now that that’s out of the way, here is this week’s cartoon!Cover

I have absolutely no athletic talent. I am completely useless at anything physical. The only kind of sport that I was vaguely good at school was the long distances running, and even that was not because I was good at it. I was just too stubborn to give in when I was tired and everybody else was super bad at it. Do not even ask me to run a block these days. That is what you get for working in the library all day.

Anyway, this is what happened the first time that I had athletics trials in school, when I had just started school.

1

We had to run the hundred metres and sit down beyond the finish line when we got there. I proved to be so slow that my whole group were already seated when I was still approaching the finishing line. That I had to run in the under 7 years group (the youngest possible) and I was only 6 and 2 months at that stage probably did not help, now that I think of it, because some of the other people were already 7, or almost 7.

And I had to go through this every year, because the school held trials every year, probably hoping that some late-blooming talent would reveal itself. After all, you’re only worth something to the school if you can bring in prizes. If not, just go keep yourself busy somewhere. I had to try everything: javelin – I nearly poked someone’s eye out; high-jump – I landed on the beam, ouch; long-jump – I got my shorts full of sand from skidding on my bum, but that was all; shot put – I nearly broke a toe. In the end, I concluded that I had the athletic ability of a tree.

2

Actually, most trees would have done better at soccer than I did. (That’s football to all you weird people.) In my final year of high school, they constantly made us play soccer for Physical Exercise.

3

(Most) trees do not fall over if they get hit by a soccer ball. Elana, however, proved that she does fall over when hit with a soccer ball. This is no great effort for me, as I have the ability to fall over my own feet while standing still.

 

This was not my only fail at soccer, however. If I ever got the ball and managed to dribble it, I quite often forgot which one was my team’s goal. But seeing that our goals were often represented by two schoolbags and a tin can, I consider it understandable that I got confused. I also sometimes forgot which people were in my team and then I passed the ball to the wrong people. Oh dear, sorry.

4

 

I also quite often ran up to the ball, meaning to kick it and then completely missing it, running right past it and kicking empty air. Clearly, I have no aim.

5

 

But the best fail-moment of all… Oh, that embarrassing day…

I’ll let the pictures speak for me:

6

Yes, I tried kicking the ball, actually aiming straight this time, and ended tripping over it. Ouch. It was my class’s entertainment for the day. The girl who could trip over a soccer ball. It’s like the new version of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. Winking smile

Now it is rather funny, but it really wasn’t funny when it happened. Ah well, that’s what school is for, isn’t it? Making embarrassing memories that you can laugh about in a few years’ time.

 

And… that’s my story for today.

Tomorrow I’m finally going to go see The Hunger Games. I know, I’m the last person in the world on the bandwagon. Anyway, when I checked before release to see when it was coming out, I saw that it was rated 16 for violence. And I was thinking that simply meant that my 15-year-old-face and I were going to have trouble at the ticket office again. As usual. They always give me trouble. Why would I ask for an adult ticket if I was a teenager? So that I could pay more? Not likely. One of these days, if they doubt my age again, I should just toss my driver’s license on the counter and say “Read my birthdate. Read it!” Um… what I meant to say was that I see the rating has now been dropped to only 13V. Hopefully, they won’t give me trouble now, but then again, I’d believe anything.

 

Sig2

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More Awesomely Embarrassing Moments in the Library

So… when I got that Annual Report from WordPress on New Year (I still want to know out of what blue that thing fell from), it gave me some very interesting statistics. One of them was the most popular search term that people found your blog by throughout the year. And lo and behold, mine was “library cartoon” – which was how I tagged that very first cartoon that I ever posted on this blog, and then never used again. Is it irony that my first little old, finding-my-feet, post should turn out so popular with the search engines? By the way, you can see it here, and then you can do a case study of how my style developed in 7 months’ time.

Anyway, seeing that people seem to like library cartoons so much, I feel fully justified in doing some more. I present to you… *can I have a drumroll, please*

 

Cover

I did sleep quite a lot in the library last year, and not enough in my bed. Those of you who have been around for a while will know that the library is basically my hang-out. I hide from social situations in there.

Asleep

 

I listen to my iPod in the library whilst I work. But then, especially if a catchy song plays, I sometimes start bouncing in my seat and mouthing the words along. The looks I get for that are really embarrassing.

Rocking out

 

You know those silences that can suddenly fall in a crowded room that was buzzing only a moment before? Yes, those…

Silence

 

Our library has really, really narrow spaces between the shelves. That the books often overhang their shelves do not help matters either. They are quite discriminatory those shelves, really. I’m short, mostly petite and thinner than most. And I sometimes have trouble turning round with a bag on my back. So I don’t know what people bigger than me do. On top of that, stuff like this is always happening:

Book-trolley

Yes, then someone with a book-trolley will come down the row where you are standing. And there is only space for one at a time. One of you is going to have to back off. Sometimes it will result in a staring match. But someone will have to reverse in the end. Usually it will be me. Librarians do not take nonsense from books or students.

 

I hope you all enjoyed that! At the moment I’m working on a tutorial on how to fold an origami box. I will announce it here when I am done with it. Also, before I forget, if there are still any procrastinators that still want to download my 2012 calendar over there in the sidebar –> do it now. I’m going to remove the download box within the next few days (as soon as I stop procrastinating).

 

Hope everybody has a lovely weekend! Open-mouthed smile

Sig2


The annoyances of bus riding

Status update: Where did the week go to? It’s university recess and I didn’t even notice it because I was working procrastinating so hard!
Eating: –
Drinking: Chocolate milk.
Listening: “The Road” soundtrack ~ Mute Records. (It suits my mood.)
Reading: “The Pilgrim’s Progress“– John Bunyan. (Not that I’m making any progress at all. Smile with tongue out)

 

Hey guys!

So, before we get to today’s actual post, there are a few things I want to say first.

1.) Firstly, this week came with some milestones for this blog. The blog is now so close to 3000 hits that by the time most of you will read this, it will already have passed that. Now, I know it is petty and ridiculous to obsess over this, especially since I know there are blogs that get that in a day, but I promise I will stop after I have said this. I’m feeling very accomplished right now, because this is the most successful anything that I have started up on the internet has ever become. Well, except for the articles I write on wikiHow, the most popular of which has just over 89,000 views, but I must also point out in fairness that is almost 3 years old, whereas this blog is now only, what, four months? My previous blog only got a 1000 views after a year, and a lot of that came from clicks over here. I also used to run a website, and erm… that was even a bigger flop… So, maybe it’s third time lucky, hey? Thanks to everyone who is making it possible! Red heart

The blog also passed 100 comments this week. Okay, so half of them were my replies to people, but do you care? Winking smile

Okay… boring, show-off-y stats obsession over!

 

2.) Quite a few subscribers joined the bandwagon this week, so to everybody who’s new: welcome! Party smile 

 

3.) Thirdly, I would just like to ask you all to please bear with me. Over here it is a month before final exams… so this means it is crunch-time. Of course every lecturer thinks that he/she is alone in the world and therefore gives written assignments as if something such as “I already have three others to write” does not exist. And I have a lot of lecturers… = thus lots of work! See? I’m even beginning to type in class notes style! Smile with tongue out

So, what I actually want to say is that I don’t know if there is going to be a blog next week. Maybe only a little something small. We’ll see. I shouldn’t even be blogging right now, but I’m going crazy reading up on the theory of existentialism and it is so heavy and depressing! Okay, so that’s it: I just want you to know, just in case I disappear for three weeks, that I haven’t given up blogging! Smile

 

4.) Look! ↑ A numbered list! *ahem* Sorry… Embarrassed smile

 

♥♦♣♠

 

Right! Today’s cartoon is about… the annoyances of riding on the bus.

I have to ride the bus home from university several days a week when there is no-one to pick me up, or I finish early or something. And I just wish I could drive myself, because… let’s just say the bus is not very trustworthy at the showing-up-and-not-breaking-down area. But I don’t have a car, or permission to drive either, so I am stuck with it for now. At least it is giving me lots of interesting stories to blog about. Sheesh, I have lots of bus-stories by now! Smile with tongue out

Now, basically everyone here will have no clue at all what my bus looks like. So here’s a picture of it:

Bus2

No, it does not actually look like a loaf, that’s just my bad drawing skills. The colour is also only a maybe. I’ve learned by now that the bus can be basically any colour, except maybe pink or orange, but at least it is that colour quite often.

Right! Moving on… the look of the bus is not important – what is important to note is what it says on the front. Or, what is doesn’t say on the front, because, very often, the bus looks like this:

Bus3

I suspect they do it to spite me, because the bus always gets me excited and then I jump up and think it is coming, and then when it is close enough to read the name, it is usually the wrong one. That’s when I get so annoyed that I will just board the wrong bus and walk an extra three k at the end, out of pure frustration.

 

The second annoying thing about waiting for the bus is sitting there at the bus stop…

Bus4.1

… and realising that you need to go to the bathroom. You take out your watch…

Bus4.2

… and start wondering if you have time to run there and back before the bus is due. This represents many conversations I’ve had with myself on that thrice-darned stop:

“I’ve got 10 minutes, do you think I can go that fast?”

“Of course, who takes that long?”

“No… there’ll be a queue and then I be late.”

“Don’t be silly, why now?”

“Why not? Besides, if I leave now, the bus will be early today.”

“You know it never is. You know it’s always late.”

“But today might be an exception…”

And so forth.

 

Usually I spend the entire time until the bus finally comes just debating with myself and then I still haven’t gone. Whoops…

 

Another annoying thing is the waiting itself:

Bus5

I think this says everything there is to say about it. I look at my watch every two minutes; I stand up every minute to look down the road… and then that last watch depicted is still only a maybe. The worst feeling is when that last watch also passes and still no bus…

 

No, I tell a lie. The worst feeling is when…

Bus6

Someone you know from class comes blaring by the stop in their arrogant little car, making certain that you notice them… And then they’re gone. And you are still stuck waiting for the bus. This feeling is of course amplified if the person driving is younger than you. It is moments such as this that leaves me green with jealousy, and wondering if anyone will mind if I just quickly excuse myself to go stab the bastard and return to the stop before the bus comes.

 

There are of course still many other annoying things about riding the bus, such as it being late every single day, but the day that you were talking to someone outside class and end up tardy, it will be on time. Or even early. Then you have to run your legs off and arrive at the stop just when it drives off again…

Poor legless, carless, you…

 

So, what about you? Do you have any qualms about riding the bus? Any horror stories? Or any little gremlins that annoy you so, so much? I could go on like this all day, but I have to end this post here and now.

 

Until next time then!

Sig2


Three little annoyances and Murphy’s Law

Status update: I totally forgot it was Friday this week. I don’t know how I managed to do that. Usually I am so aware of how many minutes still left until the week-end!
Eating: Coffee-cupcake. Yum!
Drinking: Tea.
Listening: “Farewell to Dobby” – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 soundtrack ~ Alexandre Desplat Crying face
Reading: “Going Postal” – Terry Pratchett. If this is not my favourite Pratchett-book, then it is a very strong contender for that title!

 

This post was inspired by my love for Murphy’s Law. Ask anybody who knows me – I just love the quiet truth of sayings such as… “When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.” According to my experience, this one is especially true when you are home alone and cannot yell at anyone else to get the phone.

Now, with my new experience of forgetting Friday, I am adding one to the Murphy’s Law list:

The law of writing: The amount of time you have to write is indirectly proportional to the amount of inspiration you have.

When I have lots of time to write a post, then I will have absolutely no clue what to write it about. But when I have an amazing idea, then I have no time to finish it in. The same goes for my creative writing. When the inspiration is pouring off me, I have a heap of homework to complete and a class to attend in half an hour, but when I am sitting outside bored for hours, I have no interest or ideas to write.

 

Now, some hasty cartoons about little annoying things in life!

 

Spaghetti1

Because this is only true in the movies:

Spaghetti2

In real life the spaghetti does not end up twisted neatly around the fork like that. No, it is more likely to end up splattered all across your plate and the table. Do not EVER order spaghetti in a restaurant! That is a sight meant only for your home, not for the general public!

 

Saying1

Because when you come out with your most witty saying, the response you are most likely to get is this one:

Saying2

Spare yourself that!

 

Waiting1

Because it will be late. Because you were early. But the one day you were slightly tardy… oh boy! Then you will find out how speedily that bus can actually arrive. Or possibly also how fast you can run up that street…

Waiting2

The speed of the bus is also indirectly proportional to the amount of time you have spent at the stop. If you have been waiting an hour, then the bus will be late on top of that. And when it finally comes, it will approach the stop at a snail’s pace. But if you were late, and still looking for your money, ticket and/or bag, or possibly still running up the street, then it will approach the stop at something close to light speed.

 

Now, to end off, my favourite sayings from Murphy’s Law. Go here for more. Actually, I’m just going to paste them all in, because they are too awesome. And now you know what my source for them was!

  1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to go to the rest room.
  2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
  5. Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.
  6. Guy’s Variation Rider – If you change queues or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. This also works in supermarkets and shops.
  7. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  8. Decree of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. This is also the case if you are female and you have gone out with no makeup and wearing your worst clothes and with greasy hair.
  9. Murphy’s Office Law – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. Will also finds this when he shows someone that something on the computer is easy and it doesn’t work.
  10. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
  11. Law of the Theatre – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
  12. The Starbucks Edict – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
  13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers -If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
  14. Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced marmalade sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.
  15. The Conundrum of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
  16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
  17. Oliver’s Rule of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet. Will’s favourite!
  18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
  19. Doctors’ Law- If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
  20. Will and Guy’s Law – If you don’t save things on your computer you will, sooner rather than later, delete them.

 

Thanks for reading!

Sig2

 

PS. How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?  –Christy Whitehead


Don’t tell her!

Hi guys, it’s Bill here…

Don’t go splittin on me now, will ya? Don tell Elana but I stole her password so that I can come post tis pic for ya.

I learned a lot of stuff last week, you know. I also learned to activate te webcam when she dont think it’s watchin her. And I sit right next t her keyboard, so she only have to enter her password a few times before i know wat it is.

 

So… here is Elana looking how she would never dream of showin to ye. I told ye Im gonna embarrass her.!

I know ye all will look forward to when I come back. I’ve still got more gossip to share wif ye!

~ Bill.

……

……..

…………….

 

Bill. You little bast— blighter. You little back-stabbing, double-crossing — yeah. This is a family-friendly environment, so… I’d better stop right here. At least that pic was when I had make-up on… Oh wait, I should probably not have said that…

Oh, and William my dear? Couldn’t you at least have tried not to make spelling mistakes? You sit next to me everyday, jeez dude! Have you still not learned proper spelling?! By the way, I’m changing my password and moving my seat.

 

Anyway, readers, you lot had just better keep your mouths shut today, because now I’m asking you not to tell Bill that he actually saved me because I don’t have anything to say today. All I have to say is a few random things. So, coming up…

 

1.) You may have noticed I changed my tagline. How do you like it? I am rather chuffed with it, even if I have to say it myself. I like the alliteration, and the previous one was just me being too lazy to think up something catchy. All in all, it’s a win!

 

2.) I made a hat. No, I have no millinery training. I just jumped right in, as is my usual method for my crafts. I might write a how-to on how to make one of these. But it’ll have to wait until I have more time, or am in a particularly bad procrastinating mood.

Photo0169-1

 

Right, I think that is more or less it for now. Oh yes, some shameless advertising: the new article I started on wikiHow: How to Avoid Distractions Online. Now, if only I could follow my own advice…

 

To finish off (rather than start, as normal – thanks Bill! Baring teeth smile):

♥♣♦♠

Status update: I forgot what I was going to say. It’s a pity, because all that I can remember of it is that it was witty.
Eating: Pizza! Yum!
Drinking: Tea.
Listening: “Ode to Our Fallen” – Kerry Muzzey
Reading: “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man”. Another prescribed one. Yay.

 

Sig2


Lord Voldemort, the shower and yours truly

Status update: Elana is back on duty!
Eating: What is this stuff? *pokes it, peering into the bowl*
Drinking: Hot Chocolate. Mmm!
Listening: “Someday” ~ John Legend
Reading: This interesting blog post on a blog named Cartoons and Creative Writing. You should read it too! Winking smile

 

First off, Readers: Y’all should appreciate this post muchly.

Why? Well, because this week I, being my usual foolish self, managed to tear the tip of my left thumbnail completely off, and then into the nail bed. It hurts like— like— something that you can imagine that hurts in incredible amounts. If only there was an interesting story behind my little accident it might have been better in some way (more ideas for blog posts for one thing), but unfortunately it must be the lamest story you have every heard about a wound like this. I was sitting in the library, being academic, tried to take my diary out of my bag, it got stuck, I yanked at it, my fingers slipped, and when I looked again the front part of my nail was hanging like a flap. Ouch!

But I still haven’t explained why you should appreciate the appearance of this post. Well, that would be because, with a finger like this, it hurts to do basically everything that I need to do. It hurts to write with a pen (I write with my left hand), it hurts to type, it hurts to pick up my bag (yes, the guilty party in my wound), it hurts to take a bath and it hurts to put on my clothes. Therefore you should have appreciation right now, because I still bath (not that you care), I still wear clothes, I still write and, most important of all, I am still typing this blog post at the time that I had said I would do it.

Now. Without further ado, let us proceed to the long-awaited (not!), new, long cartoon!

 

The following anecdote happened when I was about 12 or 13 years old. I think… Well? Are you going to check?

 

Cue… the incident of Lord Voldemort, the shower, and… yours truly!

 

Voldemort 1Voldemort 2Voldemort 3Voldemort 4Voldemort 5Voldemort 6Voldemort 7Voldemort 8

 

Yep. I was a stupid kid. I still am actually, sometimes. (Think torn-off thumbnail! Winking smile) And this was just sooooooo embarrassing!

But in all seriousness, for quite some time, I was truly scared of reading Harry Potter because I so scared of Lord Voldemort. But, when reading the later books, this fear was replaced by an irrational fear of that pet snake of old Voldy. Nagini, I think? Seriously, for years, when I was blow-drying my hair in front of the mirror, I would be continually checking behind me, and under the bed because I was scared there would be a huge snake there. The reasoning behind that being, if the hairdryer was making such a noise, I would not hear the snake sneak up behind me! Embarrassed smile I know, I know… Therefore, thinking of my childhood fear, I was very gratified to watch that snake getting killed in the final Harry Potter-movie. As I watched it, I thought that if my childhood had to die along with this movie, then my phobia might as well go as well. Hah! I truly hated that snake!

And this post just made me look like the hugest Harry Potter fan! I’m not actually. I liked it whilst it lasted; the final movie made me extremely melancholy and nostalgic; sometimes it annoyed me greatly… but I can’t say that I was ever a Harry Potter fan-girl! *ahem* Rambling off-topic again… (And now I have an addiction to ellipses!)

 


 

Lastly a special announcement: to my very special Impish friend, the professional geek, the Serverus Snape of our world, and sayer of really strange things Such as…

Shalane1

Here’s a big internet hug for you!  *hug* Hope you enjoyed your

birthday! Birthday cake

 

 

Up next (that means next week some time, hopefully!): A new short story! A fairy-tale — Elana-style.

 

Rainbow ~ Elana