The Five Emotional Stages of Finding Employment
So, this happened.
I promise, this is the last time I’ll talk about this. Anyway, there’s no more need to talk about this. It’s all over now.
Am I the first person ever to cry from anger and disappointment when they actually get an interview? It didn’t surprise me that I started crying, as for the past month I could veer from depression to hysterics and back again several times in one day. What surprised me was how much I couldn’t stop once I started. I haven’t cried like that since the day in second year when I walked into my French teacher’s office to ask a question about homework and as soon as she answered me I just exploded into a crying fit. It was just something that had been building up for a long time and I was crying from tiredness and frustration and just being so done with everything. That was the lowest point of university for me. Those were the days when I couldn’t face another day and I was ready to quit and go work at the supermarket.
Those days passed. My bad day this week passed as well. I’m not upset any more. I’m not exactly sure why this news had me feeling that everything I’d ever planned had fallen apart (obviously it wasn’t true), but it did. I can only imagine it was the explosion of all the tension I’ve had lately.
It’s good. It’s not bad, it’s a good thing. This is the end of all of the conflict and anxiety and general unpleasantness that’s been in the air lately. According to my parents, it’s been about half a lifetime that I’ve been unemployed. If you count it the way they do, from the day I wrote my last exam, it’s been almost exactly three months. If you count it the way I do, leaving out the Christmas holidays and the gap between end of exams and holidays, it’s been six weeks.
At least no-one knows about all of the crying and stuff. That would make me feel even more of an idiot. Luckily, I’m good at crying silently.
Mark the start of a new chapter, ’cause here we come!